Reminiscing the good ol' days...and contemplating what is to come to pass

Yesterday night my dad took out the old tapes he had of me and my sisters when we were teeny weeny. As usual, whenever my dad does this I'll be the most excited (yes I'm a sucker for this) and of course I stayed to watch the whole thing with my parents. Looking at myself I thought ohmygoodness I haven't changed at all have I?! I was pretty much silent through out except when I was laughing, showing off or when I had to ask a question. My expressions were pretty much the same as well (ha-ha). And I sounded like a boy. The only thing that was changing throughout is the depth/length/texture of my hair (and not to mention, my dad's too lol).

Now I feel old. Yes yes I'm probably younger by months than you people who might be reading but y'know looking at myself playing with my belly button whilst drinking milk from a baby bottle oblivious to everything else and comparing that to now makes me feel old. But I want to be old(er) - to make something of myself, give back to the world and live life to the fullest. Yes I want it all (money, career, people who care, connections and basically turning my ideals and beliefs into a reality) though I'm not too sure about the idea of a baby exiting through my passageway.

By the way, the thought of leaving in mere months to another country (though a great country) makes me a little scared. Like come on, a few oceans will be between me and the people I care about. Skary. Even though this is like what I have always wanted to do, I have never actually thought about how it would be like leaving. Leaving behind everything that has shaped how I am today to a place foreign and unfamiliar. To think that just a year ago I thought the only thing I would miss here is the food (how shallow!). Now the realities of leaving are starting to creep in...

Note to self: This is what I want. This is what I want. This is what I want.


If you never leave your home and carve your own path, it's like reading a book and never going pass the first page.